Monday

Skunk Asumption (Formerly Dear Neighbor "Linda" Post)

Dear Linda,
It's been about 3 weeks since we first met in the hot tub.
I sipped my beer & politely nodded as you divulged an entire lifetime.
I thought you were peculiar, nice, but you shared too much. After 10 minutes of
monologue, you transformed from stranger into a bipolar-lesbian-protestant-grandmother from the south. You spoke of your ex-husbands along with several other tales from your life, but what really sparked my interest is how you used to keep a skunk as a domestic pet in Alabama. You said you had a vet cut its stink sack warning that it would alter the temperment of the skunk. Your beloved pet then grew more unpredictable & mean, forcing you let it go back into the wild.

Curiously, a few days later, nearly every other hour- strong skunk odors have been coming through the windows & walls- so what are the odds of you capturing a new pet? If you do happen to have another pet skunk... I wonder if you chase it around all day constantly scaring it? The smell is so pungent, it lingers. I hate complaining, but we don't have air conditioning, none of the residents here do for that matter. Even with the windows sealed shut, the odor still seeps through. I bet there have been over a dozen complaints filed already... { and the letter carries on...}

***Update: The DEA came to the complex, busted into a guy's apartment one floor down. He's growing 70 marijuana plants! The mystery is solved! He just moved in a couple weeks ago & has a permit to grow the stuff as medicinal, as he supplies local clinics. The smell is horrid. Why is he allowed to run a business from a condo complex & constantly burn it? Why doesn't he rent out a warehouse? He must be a very cheap hippie.

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